Scattered Thoughts

I'm having a hard time finishing things, right now. That doesn't make for exciting blog posts, though, so I thought I'd give a smattering of starts.

1. James has gone from what I'd expect of a 1-year-old to what I'd expect of a 2- or 3-year-old, speech-wise. He still doesn't use full sentences (can, just doesn't) and you have to know him to understand him ("pee-wah bupper!" "pifa!") but he's using more English, will pull out phrases he learned in therapy or hears around the house, and knows colors, numbers (1-12, out loud, and 1-10 in print), letters (all upper case and some lower case), and is working on house-hold objects. And, after a month of calling me Daddy, is starting to get Mom and Dad straightened back out.

2. All three of the kids are taking turns reading during scripture time. Elena can plow right through a half-dozen verses, Joseph can sound out enough big words to make it through a verse or two, and James identifies all the capital letters.

3. I've finished at least 9 knitting projects, this year. Some of them are very small and simple, like booties for the baby, while other take more time and significantly more brain-power, like the stranded mittens I set aside while Dad was in the hospital. Other projects are stalled in their fifth incarnation because I can't get the pattern to work. Socks are coming, starting next month.

4. The baby is measuring right on for her age. Everything is still pointing to mid-June.

5. My hip isn't hurting as much as last time. I think walking to school twice a day, combined with our Ward's twice-weekly yoga group and my concerted effort to use my hand to lift the bad leg (instead of straining something trying to lift it with the usual muscles) has helped. In any case, it only hurts when I do something to it, rather than hurting all the time no matter what.

6. I say "hip" or "back," even though it isn't either of those, because they somehow feel more genteel than "rear" or "pelvis."

7. Breathing is getting harder, though. Positions that are comfortable for my hip tend to crush my lungs, and positions that loosen up my lungs hurt my hip. The only thing that works for both is to lie on my stomach, but that's starting to require more and more elaborate setups to accommodate the belly.

8. Is it normal to be absolutely exhausted, all day every day? I wasn't this tired in the first trimester, but now I'm dragging around all the time.

To my Very Best Friend,

The last two weeks have been rough. What should have been a simple hospital stop (if you can call it that) for my Dad turned into a sudden four nightmarish days of his final illness and passing, then another three of quiet arrangements. From the very first phone call, you were there with a hug and a shoulder to cry on. You took on all three kids without a second thought as I spent as much time as possible with my mom and brothers. You rearranged your schedule, you put off important tasks, and you called in reinforcements so you could go with me for the hard parts. You didn't blink when I felt I needed to go back to the hospital at 9pm and asked no questions when I didn't come home. You made sure I was where I needed to be, even if it meant odd car arrangements or soothing a screaming James who was not happy that his mom was leaving him. Again. And when the end came, you were by my side holding my hand. When I came unglued, you were there to hold me. Thank you for being my best friend, my husband, my love. I don't know what I would be without you.