Test Drive

Today makes 35 weeks.  We're tidying things up, getting ready for the little one.  One of those tasks is finding a new car.  As much as I adored my Echo, it is, sadly, no longer with us.  And, as practical and useful as Brent's Corolla is, it still has the same principle flaw the Echo did--only 5 seats.  So we need something bigger than a sedan, and we'd like to do it without going into debt.  Not having a car payment, ever, has been a huge blessing during those tight times in our life together.  We still want something that drives like a car, though, not a truck, and gets decent gas mileage--going from 32-36 mpg to ~18 mpg was just not going to cut it for us.  We've kept an eye on our options for several years and knew that with our requirements we would get to choose from the astounding total of 1 model.  (Canada and Mexico both have several more options.  I'm still kind of peeved about that.)

Finding a Mazda5 isn't all that hard, considering that the company refuses to market the poor thing, lest at any time the demand go up and they be required to actually make more of them.  Finding one with a manual transmission is a little more difficult, but still doable.  Finding a used one, though, is nigh unto impossible.  My guess would be that the sort of people who enjoy driving a stick are not the sort of people who trade in their cars "just 'cause." 

Anyway, after months of searching we found one.  We've test driven a couple of them, though not one of the older models, and I wanted to go check it out so that I could make sure my legs actually fit into the car.  I have, in my lifetime, had to rule out a car or two simply because my knee was up against the steering column.  What followed is one of those experiences that was horrifying, at the time, but caused us to laugh all the way home.

I wasn't altogether too worried when the sales guys had to make a few calls to figure out where the car was.  It's a large dealer with a patchwork collection of mini-lots.  We walked across a small side street and past a few other cars as everyone chatted.  James was enjoying the sunshine and his bottle of water that we'd grabbed from the cooler while waiting.  Our salesman went and grabbed the key and opened the front door.  He then pushed the button to unlock the rest of the car and muttered something about getting the car jumped so he could get the locks working.  What was that?  Surely I heard wrong.  He left and I figured out the manual locks for the back doors.  James and I hopped in the back and started poking around while Jonathan looked over the console up front.  Sure enough, the sales guy comes back with a battery starter, pops the hood, and gets things cranked up.  I never did figure out how the battery had died in the first place.  I couldn't quiet believe that they'd left the lights on, and yet that's somehow the impression I was given from his explanation.  Everyone piled in, with me in the driver's seat.

As I was pulling out of the lot, the lights on the dials started flickering.  Halfway through my turn, in the middle of the street, the whole thing died.  Jonathan and the salesman had to quickly hop out, wave traffic around us (we didn't have enough power to even flash the hazard lights), and push the car to the side of the road.  We jumped the battery again.  I pulled around the corner, just as the lights flickered again, and watched as it died, again, while I tried to get it in the driveway.  After yet another jump, and having driven maybe 250 ft., they took it into the shop to get a new battery.  I sincerely hope that that's the only thing wrong with it.

I could tell that our salesman was embarrassed by what had happened, but was bravely holding on and pretending that everything was great.  We played along and asked the price.  There wasn't a sticker on the car, nor had there been a price in the online listing.  His answer?  $19,995.  Excuse me?!?  I can buy a new one, for that price.  He tried to explain that that particular portion of the dealership deals with people who have really bad credit, so the price is to cover the risk, or something like that.  We didn't really let him finish.  A car that age with that sort of mileage is only worth $11k.  That's if it's in great condition, too, and this one was slightly worn with use.  We left, shaking our heads at the sheer audacity of that quote, especially after all we'd gone through at their hands.  We giggled at how awful the whole thing was, all the way home.

I did go back later, though, after they'd replaced the battery.  I still needed to know about my knees.

Date Night

Since Jonathan and I don't get very much time together, we've made the every-other-Saturday he gets off a mandatory date night. We have to do something together, though it can expand to cover the rest of the family too. Orville Reddenbacher has some boxes with RedBox codes in them, so BAM! popcorn and movie night. We piled the family onto the couch (minus James, who was tired and is still a bit small for this sort of thing) and popped in Toy Story 3. The kids were so excited. Jumping up and down, excited. Squealing like leaky balloons, excited. Yeah.

I highly recommend watching kids' movies with actual kids. It's a whole new experience. Joseph nestled into my arm, as the tension cranked higher, while Elena screamed in terror and squeaked "Oh, no! Daddy! Oh, no!" Just as things looked bleakest, she sobbed"Turn it off, Daddy! Turn it off!" We tried to reassure her, tell her that the toys would be OK, but honestly, neither of us was that sure. When it was all over, she said, "That was a good movie, but I never want to see it again." We'll be buying it in a few months, anyway. Hopefully she'll have forgiven us by then.

The Generation Gap Rears its Head

Joseph is running around the house with one of my knee-highs over his head, right now. Not two minutes ago I rolled my eyes, heaved a sigh and asked "Joseph, why do you have one of my stockings on your head?" He looked at me like I was utterly insane and said "No it isn't a stocking." We then stared at each other, me insisting that it's thin, goes to my knee and covers my foot, while Joseph countered that what I was absolutely wrong and just being silly. At this point, Jonathan whispered in my ear, "Stockings have pictures on them and candy inside." Oh. my. dear. heavens. I'd forgotten that he's only three and had only one reason to know the word stocking.

Jonathan is currently still trying to convince him that they can be the same thing. I don't think it's working.

Ignoring the Posted Rules

Elena made signs for each of the doors, upstairs, to let Simon know he was not allowed in the bedrooms or bathrooms. I told her he wouldn't be able to see the signs if she put them up so high, but she insisted.

Adentures in Joseph-Land

There's a lot to get through, so each of the kids are going to get handled separately for a bit. First up is Joseph. Now that he's three, he's starting to get more dramatic, as well as running around in circles. Even so, we're often pleasantly surprised by the times when he can sit still and focus on projects. This one is called The Artillery Camp.


All that crazy energy he puts out can really wear a kid out, though. I can't get him to lay down for a nap, but he'll happily fall asleep in my bed, on the couch, on the floor, or even the laundry basket.

Yeah, he's totally unconscious here.

We've got him on lactose-free milk, now, and that's helped a lot with his diapers, but it's still not to the point where we can really switch him over to underpants. He loves to use the potty, and knows how to do it himself, even getting the diaper off by himself, but his body just can't handle what he puts it through. He's got an appointment with a gastroenterologist, but the first available appointment was in September so my poor boy has to tough it out until at least then. He's still got a bit of a speech "thing," too. For example, he brought his milk over to Jonathan and says "Eh, men-it mine beshial milt" (Open-it, my special milk). The ear infection is slowly clearing up, though. We're trying an allergy medicine, this time, since he had one last spring, too, and it may be related to congestion. We'll see.

Third Little Monkey

We dropped the mattress on James' crib, tonight, just in case he figured out how to pull up on stuff sometime soon. Ten minutes later...

No Wonder He Falls Asleep on the Floor

Sure enough, this was Joseph this afternoon.

I woke up at 4:30am to the sound of Joseph trying to get Elena to wake up and help him with something. I got up and discovered that not only was Joseph out of bed, he had turned on the lights throughout most of the house. I told him to go back to sleep and he pitched a fit. "Binty!" (blankie) was the only word I could make out. So I went downstairs to fetch it. This is when I found out why Joseph needed Elena's help. Joseph had turned on the stairwell/upper hallway, living room, dining room and kitchen lights; stripped off his PJs, the zip-up feety kind, and left them on the kitchen floor; been into the cat food and relocated the food and water bowls; scattered a dress pattern and fabric pieces from my sewing table all across the living room; eaten half a loaf of bread; then found my personal stash of candy, but couldn't get it open. All this at four o'clock in the morning.

Since it was two days later, I don't think it's related to the 18 straight hours that he slept Sunday afternoon to Monday morning. Either way, he's a weird kid.

A Glimmer of Hope

We recently started including scriptures as part of our bedtime routine. It seemed like the best place to fit it in where it was sure to get done. We read both Grown-Up Scriptures (The Book of Mormon) and Big Kid Scriptures (the Book of Mormon Stories reader). It's only a few verses, but it works, and Elena reads one verse from hers all by herself so she can practice reading. Now that you have context...

Scriptures go as usual. Small children are wiggling, the baby is fussy, Mom and Dad's patience is wearing thin. It's important, though, so we plow onward. Nephi would do the same, so we can, too. We've heard 1st Nephi so many times that we forget that this is the first time the kids have really heard it. As they leave Jerusalem, they leave behind "all their gold and their silver and their precious things..." Elena's eyes light up. Could this be...? In a tiny voice, almost as if she doesn't quite dare trust that it could be this good, she asks, "Are they... pirates?"

So Glad Ours is Broken

"Simon is going to turn into a kid."

"Really? Simon is?"

"Yes. Some cats turn into kids and some cats do not."

"How do you know this?"

"There are machines that turn cats into kids."

"We don't have one of those, though, so I think Simon is going to stay a cat."

"Yeah, but Warren's dog is going to turn into a kid."

"Is it, now?"

"Warren has two machines. One to put water in the cup and one to turn his dog into a kid."

This Week In Pictures

Elena has started "reading" books to Joseph. Everyone likes this situation--Elena gets to be a big kid, Joseph gets a story, and Mom & Dad don't have to drop what we're doing to read 12 straight books.


Joseph likes to put things in his ears. Sometimes it's crayons, today it was a Mr. Potato Head tongue.


We got to ooh and aah over Rick & Sherry's brand new baby, Grant. He's a real cutie. The kids were amazed at how small he is.

Political Awareness

Jonathan was watching the Jib Jab video about the presidential campaign and, it being musical and silly, Elena wanted to watch, too. Halfway through she says "That is Rock Obama!" We were both surprised. Jonathan looked at me with a look that said "did you teach her that?" and I looked as stunned as he did. We're really not sure where she picked that up, but I guess his youth appeal is even broader than we thought.

In other Elena news, when we went to the OB, today, she started sounding out the words on the sign outside the office door. "Ss-st-stuh daa-aa-vuh-vih-buh-suh" -- St. David's (digital mammography). She's done this a couple of times, but usually her attempts add a lot of extra/nonrelated sounds.

I've Started Something

Joseph likes to play with the sewing machine, and I let him, as long as the thread on top is put away and the needle is down where he can't do anything with or to it. I guess he's seen a lot of sewing lately because he totally knows how to lift the presser foot and which way to put the cloth in. He was so proud of himself, right here. With the winning combination of Jonathan's ability to make any prop out of coat hangers and my sewing skills, this kid is set for designing and making his own costume every Halloween from now until he's 100. I'll be so proud when he's making his own kid's ultra-creative costume, someday.


In other funny Joseph news, at the end of Family Home Evening, last night, he leapt up as soon as the prayer was over and ran to the kitchen. Once there, he opened one of my drawers of cooking utensils, took out a beater and brought it to the living room so he could lick it. That's my boy!

Name That Movie

There we were, driving home from church, Jonathan and I are chatting, and I hear something about funny pants coming from the back seat. "What's that about funny pants?"

"There were funny walking pants in the movie."

"Which movie?"

"The one with the yellow funny thing that we got from the big, big library."

Utter confusion, so we try something. "What else was in the movie?"

"Ummm... There was triangle cheese." Still nothing. Prompt some more. "There was a dog and a penguin with a glove."

At this point Jonathan's lightbulb turns on. Mine is still having trouble connecting. He turns to me and whispers "Wallace & Gromit." Ah ha! There's a pair of robotic pants and a penguin wearing a glove on its head in The Wrong Trousers. Eventually, we decided that the yellow funny thing was the robot they found on the moon in A Grand Day Out. The dog, Gromit, and triangle cheese are, of course, in all of their films.

Item:

1) Driving home (from church, I think) Elena looks out over the side of the bridge, across the train tracks, and says "There's our new home!"

"Our new home? Where?"

"Our new home in Ostricha." Then she points at our apartment, that we just pulled up to, and says "See? It's our new home. In Ostricha."

2) Joseph has suddenly started using words. They're still very simple words, but he says bear ("bur" as opposed to bird, which is "ber"), spoon (all eating utensils are "poo(n)"), train ("fren"), eye ("ah"), nose ("no"), cheek ("teek"), Elena (using a marker he's not supposed to have: "Where did you get that?" "ah-mehna!"), and dog ("dok"). All this supplements his previous vocabulary, which consisted entirely of Mommy ("mama"), Daddy ("dada"), ball ("bah!!!") and banana (oops! "nena" is the usual pronunciation of Elena--banana is "nahnah").

Early Morning Photo Shoot

About the time some of you were finishing up your Christmas shopping, Joseph and I showed up at Picture People for his 18 month portraits. You may ask why I went to take pictures then, since 7:30 is way too early for anything at the mall, most days, but the poor photographers had been there for an hour and a half already and their next appointment was at about 10. We had the studio to ourselves for a fun, relaxed, hour-long session. The only down side? This:


Once he woke up, the pictures were great. This is the 10x13 that's in our hallway, now.


Here's the best of the rest. The funniest part of the whole session was that we got him to throw the ball, I'd roll it back, and he'd catch it and turn to pose for the camera. Only the car was an action shot--all the rest he held until she took the picture.

Priceless Moments

A recipe of her own devising: "Kix and Cheerios and raisins in a bowl with milk and a spoon."


I took the side off the crib while Elena was camping, and Joseph took the opportunity to play. When he got tired, he curled up on the safety pillows on the floor and pulled his blanket over him. (He's fine during naps, by the way, but is having trouble at night, so I'm going to put up a rail.)


He wants to play Elena's games.


And the piece de resistance... Going to church--she picked out everything herself.

Say WHAT?!?

It's great to be able to hold an actual conversation with your children, but sometimes the weirdest stuff comes out of their mouths. Here's two absolute gems from Elena.

planning dinner, two days ago:
"Daddy, Elena, do you want burritos or BLT's?"
"Want B-U-T-T's, Mommy!"
"BLT's?"
"No! B-U-T-T's!"

getting ready to shop for a baby gift:
"What do you think Cynthia's baby's name is?"
"Hen(g)ing..." *sly mischeivious grin* (she likes to garble/make up names)
"The baby's name is Henning??"
"Yup!"

Cynthia, she's absolutely convinced that the baby's name is Henning. She was so excited to go shopping for Henning, to pick paper for Henning, to write her name for Henning. If you've already got a name, we'll get her straightened out eventually. If not, it's actually quite a lovely name and you're welcome to use it if you like it.

"Joseph Has a Tail"

Regan got the ultimate in Diffucult Parenting Questions, this week, but I got the first, today.

I was changing diapers, had finished Elena and was working on Joseph, when I heard Elena say "Joseph has a tail." There she was looking at Joseph in all his glory and she noticed--and vocalized--that there was a structural difference between the two of them. Luckily, this one is a lot easier to explain in simple terms without the need to gloss over most of the details. I just told her what it was, that he has it because he's a boy and she has something different because she's a girl, and that's where he goes pee pee. "Ok." And that was it. I'm not looking forward to Regan's question, though. That's going to take research and practice before I'll be comfortable with the answer I'll have to give. Sigh... Our children grow up so fast.

Shopping Helper

I went to Frederick's the other day to find a bra for the dress for my brother's wedding. As I'm shuffling back into dressing room for the third or fourth time with a stroller and two children, trying to find something that'll actually fit, Elena grabs two bras in a deep red satin off the rack. Once we get inside, she hands me the bras, says "Mena try it" and starts pulling off her shirt. I was trying so hard not to laugh, at this point, but I was cracking up so badly, inside. We got her shirt off and the bra on and she pranced all around the dressing room, so proud of herself. It made me think about the fact that one day we'll be doing this for real. And that she looked really good in that shade of red. So good, if fact, that I decided she needed a dress that color. This is that dress.