Patronage

I like slow living.  I knead my bread by hand instead of in a mixer and refuse to own a bread machine even though I like the idea of waking up to fresh bread. I knit my own socks, knowing full well that I can buy some at Target. I can even spin my own yarn starting with wool fresh off the sheep, if it comes down to it. I prefer paper for books that I buy, though electronic works well for library books, mostly because they're available at midnight and it's impossible for them to be past due. I hate audio books. It's impossible to get the pacing right and the tone is always so neutral and bland that it kills whatever mood there might have been. I like to walk when I can, instead of driving, and am actively lobbying for a bicycle so that I can go even further without having to deal with my car.

That said, I do have a smart phone (Jonathan doesn't and when he had occasion to prove such to his co-workers his office-mate leaned over and said, "I thought you were Mormon, not Amish.") and I even have a couple podcasts I listen to, mostly Two Guys On Your Head. I like the psychology discussions and it's really quite educational. I went looking for some new ones, recently, to maybe branch out, or something. There were knitting ones and trivia ones and cooking ones and history ones. I picked up a few but just haven't gotten into them. I'd have to carve out time for that and I don't feel like making the effort, most days. One really got to me, though. It's called LDS Perspectives and I listened to three or four episodes the first day. The second episode, they were talking to Brad Wilcox about his His Grace is Sufficient talk at BYU. It's amazing.

In discussing the delicate interplay between Grace and Works (see 2Nephi 25:23, James 2:20), he brings up Steven Robinson's Parable of the Bicycle, where we will never have enough but that's OK because the difference will be made up. This is so hard, though, because too many say that we've messed up too many times or we're obviously not doing our best, so what's the point? So he introduces his Parable of the Piano Lesson, in that Grace is where our mother has already paid for the lessons--for the teacher, the books and the piano--but it is up to us to practice.  My mind leapt one step further. Christ's Grace is a Patronage.

Long ago, in professions with guilds, it was common for a person with means to sponsor a youth who showed promise to an apprenticeship within a guild. Tuition was paid, often housing and meals were provided, and a career set forth. The apprentice had to study under the guidance of master craftsmen, usually for years, to become competent, then skilled, then a master himself. It was often a life's work.

To put this in more modern terms, our life is a university. We applied in the pre-mortal world, were accepted, and enrolled at birth.  We're not here on scholarship, though. Nor are we working our way through with a part- or full-time job. Christ has paid our tuition, in full, for whatever our course load, line of study, or number of degrees may be, including books, supplies, library time, a new laptop, access to the gym, room and board, and anything else you could need. Because it's already paid, we don't have to worry about minor infractions costing us our scholarship. We don't have to worry about losing hours at work because we were studying or sick and not having enough money to cover books and food. He even offers tutoring. Because Christ's Grace is like Elder Robbin's physics professor. As long as you keep coming back, keep trying, keep studying, keep retaking the test, you'll get there eventually.

And that is the beauty of patronage, of Grace. It lets us fail. It lets us fail over and over again. Christ gives us a safe place to test our skills, to learn and grow. As we look at our failures, and there are many, we can pull them apart, study them, see where we may have gone awry, and try again a different way. And maybe that second, thirtieth or four hundredth try isn't quite right, either, but we keep learning.

For it is by patronage we earn our degree, after all we have studied.

Urg, But Not Eep

I've been mulling over modesty, lately.  Elena's reached That Age (already?!?) so she and I got to have a few... Conversations (I know!!!) this last week.  Along with a changing body comes a change in how people perceive you, though, and while she's never had any problem showing modesty in dress, she has a long way to go for behavior, especially when it comes to how she moves in skirts.  How do I really explain modesty without getting into the one Conversation I haven't had with her and she doesn't (well, shouldn't) need to have for another couple years?

Modesty has been a pretty hot topic on Facebook lately.  There have been lots of links to articles and blog posts.  There was one that noted that the word "modest"  is only used twice in the bible, both times in an "of modest means" sort of way, advising the saints to not flaunt whatever prosperity they may rise to.  It reminded me of The Book of Mormon's mentions of fine-twined linens in the pride cycles.


On the more usual interpretation, she knows--because we've said it many times--that we keep ourselves, especially the areas covered by our undies and said undies themselves, covered up because they're not other people's business.  I was looking for something more solid than that, good as it is.  I had an epiphany, a week ago, and was able to relate the topic to something analogous but not as fraught with subtext and blame-throwing.  It takes the form of a quick Socratic question session:

Is it impolite for your brother to read your personal thoughts that you put in your private journal?  Of course it is.  That being said, is it then impolite for you to hang poster-sized prints of the contents of that journal around the house?  Your answer to that will say much. 

Then I saw this.  It's a hypothetical conversation between a man and his son.  It made me want to formulate my own for my daughter.

~
Sweetheart, there are many kinds of men out there.  And they've all looked at you.  It's because you're becoming a woman.  It's in the nature of things.  ...

It's the way they look that matters, though.  There are some men that will look at you and only see a piece of meat.  You've done nothing to deserve that, and there's nothing you can do to prevent it.  Those men will always see every woman that way.  Ignore them, they're not worth your time.  Trying to beat them in that game is a losing proposition.  It's like wrestling a muddy pig--you get dirty and the pig has fun.

There are, however, good men who will look at you as a whole person, one with thoughts and dreams, skills and talents, and a sense of wonder and adventure that will leave him breathless.  They are the men who don't want to only see you for your legs or curves, as much as those things are attractive to them, who want to respect you and treat you right.  Those are the men that are worth encouraging, those are the ones you want to attract.  For their sakes, not the others', it is most polite and most fair to not make them work so hard at maintaining the self-discipline they've been working on.

Remember, your responsibility is to see yourself dressed before you leave your room, and not undo that work once you leave it.  The man's responsibility is to see you for who you are, not what your clothing may or may not hint at.  Both sides work together.  They share equal responsibility with equal reward. 

Next Phase

Elena noticed that a second tooth was loose, maybe a week after she found the first one was loose, and has been wiggling it for the last two months, waiting for it to fall out. Friday evening, she discovered that it goes back, too, and climbed out of bed to show me. Daddy was at work at the time, though. At her very next opportunity, she went show him her cool new trick but never got the chance because it popped right out. I still have no idea what the Tooth Fairy does with teeth, either, as she's lost both of them. The first went in a plastic bag because she wanted to show her cousins (all of them) personally, then disappeared in a pile of papers she's drawn on. The second slipped out of her hand while she was running around in excitement right after the big event. She says that if she finds the first she's trading it to the Tooth Fairy for a Wishing Ring. You can only do that with first teeth, though. The second one isn't quite as special, apparently.

In other news, the new ward has come, and we're not in it. About 60% of our ward leadership is, though. The next few weeks are going to be hectic as we scramble to fill callings.

Progression

The last few nights I've been working on Personal Progress. It's a different program from when I was in young. There are different requirements and different activities to check off. Most of them involve contemplation and journal writing. It's simpler, in that there are fewer things to do, but harder because they either take longer--three weeks seems standard--or require you to dig deep and really think about the things of the gospel. Having goals is good for me, right now. I like having something manageable to tackle. And in the end, I'll have a new medallion to show for my work.

Having dug deep and motivated myself to actually want to do this, I'd like to apologize to my mom for how hard she had to push me to get the first one done on time. I'd also like to thank her for doing it anyway. I can see much better now why the program's there in the first place. I'm doing it this time for the necklace, yes (I want silver to match all my other jewelry), but I'm also doing it for me, for my own growth, and to set an example for the girls. I'm doing the whole thing, too. Mothers and leaders are allowed to finish with only half the requirements, but I'm going to do it all. Maybe it's to make up for what I did to my mom, I don't know.

It's interesting, writing things down. I'd like to save both books for posterity, but I'm sure my kids will be far more interested in this one than the old. It's more personal. Right there in my own handwriting are my thoughts on the Savior's atonement, what I need to do to stay worthy to enter the temple, and what I think it means to be a daughter of God. It's an incredible legacy. If any of you have the opportunity to do the program again, do it. Even if it's your third of fourth time around, there's more to learn and more you can share.

The Post I meant to Write Two Weeks Ago

It's a new year and Joseph is 3 so that means... SUNBEAMS! He's been geared up for weeks, talking about Primary and all the things he gets to do in there. The day before he officially started there was a Primary PJ Party where all the kids got to meet their new teacher(s), put stickers on a prayer rock and color a journal. He had so much fun getting to do things with the big kids!


At church, the next day, we talked up Sunbeams and how Sunbeams do Big Kid Stuff and always use the potty and get to sit in Primary. We'd been doing this for days (weeks, really) to get him ready. As soon as the last prayer was said in the chapel he was off like a shot and halfway down the hall toward nursery, as usual. "Hey Joseph! Sunbeams are over here, in Primary! You don't go to nursery anymore!" This was Not a Good Thing, apparently. He didn't want to go in to the Primary room. "Come here, babe. I'll sit with you." So Mommy sat in one of the little seats on the front row while we waited for his teacher. "Look! There's your teacher--say hello. And there's Jack. Jack's in Sunbeams, too, just like you. Do want to go sit by Jack? Sure you can go sit by Jack! I'll see you later, sweetheart."

Meanwhile, Mr. Wiggle-pants (aka James) wanted to go wandering up and down the pews during Sunday School. After spending several fruitless minutes wrestling him, I decided it wasn't worth the effort and took him to consult the nursery leader. "16 months? He's playing just fine--go back to class, Mom" Score! (Really, he's only spent 4 months not in the nursery, so I knew he'd pick it back up pretty fast.)

After church, Elena's teacher dropped her off in Relief Society, then I got James and she got Joseph and we all headed to choir. Joseph showed me his hat that he colored and when I asked what he did in Sunbeams he shouted "I go potty!" Anything else? "Umm... We sing songs."

So, I guess hearing that Sunbeams use the potty was the last push that he needed to be declared Potty Trained. I haven't had to wash out underpants in a month or more and the number of wet pants dropped drastically in the last two weeks of December. I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. After all, he started wearing undies because you have to use the potty to go camping with Daddy. Now he keeps them dry so he can go to Primary.

*Cough, Cough!*

The whole family has nasty coughs, some worse than others. James is favoring me with the saddest, most pathetic little tiny-cry ever, today. I guess it hurts too much for the real thing, poor baby. When I was up with the choir, I had to mouth the words to half of two different songs so I didn't turn purple or ruin the song with coughing. I don't know how Jonathan survived his narrator duties. I knew I couldn't take Joseph to nursery like that, though, so when we finished Sacrament Meeting I started bundling up both him and James, who had lost his clothes to a dirty diaper by this time. Elena, however, had sprinted off to Primary the instant the prayer was over and I didn't have the heart to break her the bad news. So, the little boys and I are at home and we'll need to go get Daddy and Elena in just a minute.

Question: What do you do for a 3 1/2 month-old with a cough and a sore throat?

A Glimmer of Hope

We recently started including scriptures as part of our bedtime routine. It seemed like the best place to fit it in where it was sure to get done. We read both Grown-Up Scriptures (The Book of Mormon) and Big Kid Scriptures (the Book of Mormon Stories reader). It's only a few verses, but it works, and Elena reads one verse from hers all by herself so she can practice reading. Now that you have context...

Scriptures go as usual. Small children are wiggling, the baby is fussy, Mom and Dad's patience is wearing thin. It's important, though, so we plow onward. Nephi would do the same, so we can, too. We've heard 1st Nephi so many times that we forget that this is the first time the kids have really heard it. As they leave Jerusalem, they leave behind "all their gold and their silver and their precious things..." Elena's eyes light up. Could this be...? In a tiny voice, almost as if she doesn't quite dare trust that it could be this good, she asks, "Are they... pirates?"

Primarily Speaking

I couldn't stop grinning during Sacrament Meeting, today. When it came for the Primary kids to go up to the front, Elena dashed up to her teacher and stood right up at the front of the stand, right next to the pulpit, ready to sing. I could just hear her voice through the crowd. The Sunbeams ended up on the back row, the half-a-row of the choir loft, since there were only three of them but Elena sat on her teacher's lap for a good portion of the presentation so wee could see her smiling at us. When it came time for the Sunbeams to say their speaking parts, Elena popped right up to the microphone and said her part ("Heavenly Father knows me and loves me. He will answer my prayers.") without any prompting, then literally bounced back to her seat. I'm so proud of my big girl! Joseph watched the whole thing in rapt attention. None of those boring grown-ups for him, but he listens to kids just fine. He even sang along with some of the songs.

Invitation

Our Primary is doing their Sacrament Meeting presentation the 3rd week of November. So, for any who want to come visit, that's Nov 16th at 9 am.

Baby Blessings

James turned one month old, yesterday. My, how time flies! We decided to give James his Name & Blessing yesterday morning and want to thank everyone who could come participate. It was a beautiful blessing for a beautiful morning.



Today was Grant's Blessing. He's six days older than James and such a cute, sweet boy. Lots of people came to be with Rick and his family. It's always so exciting to celebrate new life and new babies!

Primary Helper

It's (just about) September, so it's time for the Sunbeams to start helping with Opening Exercises in Primary. Elena has been asked to give a scripture in Primary, next week (9/7), and a talk the week after (9/14). I could look up when the Primary Sacrament Meeting presentation is, for anyone who wants to come.

Progression

I feel like I've slacked off, not writing anything for a week. So, what have I been up to?

First off, the physical therapy update. My hip bone has rotated (most of the way) back. It's been hard to abandon some of the habits that got me that way, but for the sake of reduced pain I can deal with it. Now I get to do balancing exercises and some stretches to build up my core. My therapist's explanation was that since my ligaments obviously aren't doing their job to hold things in place, I need to strengthen the muscles to pick up the slack. I'm liking this program much better because it doesn't hurt. Muscle burn is way better than joints screaming in pain.

Jonathan and I have been pulled into helping crew for the Youth's play Savior of the World. He's off painting sets, right now, and I'm on the makeup crew. I'm pretty sure I get to do Zacharias and Elizabeth's aging. It was both fun and frustrating teaching ~150 teenagers the right way to put on makeup for stage. The girls were generally OK, but the boys (of course) were painting each other like clowns. We had to stop at each table and emphasize that if you don't do it right you don't go on stage.

Monday was a final get-together with Cynthia's family before they head off to Chicago, today, to start Stephen's grad schooling. We all went to Jonathan's parents' house to swim, eat and socialize. Elena discovered that if she folds her arms her arm floaties will hold her head up above the water and she had a great time swimming the length of the pool then climbing out, running back to the other end, then climbing back in and doing it again. She did at least four lengths of the pool, this way. She's been telling me all week that she can swim all by herself, now. After the kids hopped out to dry off and watch a movie, I borrowed Sarah's mattress float and just drifted around the pool without a care in the world. I ran out of direct sunlight (the shadows made the water too cold) right about the time dinner was ready, and we had a great time eating and chatting well into late evening.

Elena and I got to go out with my Mom, Thursday night. Jonathan got the night off from painting because it was pouring down rain every half an hour, so he stayed home with Joseph, who was super cranky because he had a molar half-way through. Since we were in San Marcos because of dad's meetings, we dropped by the outlet malls after we'd run a few errands. It was so good to hang out together and just be girls. Elena was really pretty well behaved so everything went smoothly and everyone enjoyed themselves.

We got invited to the Kyle Stake Pioneer Day party, last night. We had a lot of fun! There was lots of smoked meat (wild pig & buffalo!) plus ice cream, snow cones, watermelon and cotton candy (the only treat we didn't try). We got to ride the mule-drawn wagon--Elena went twice--and jump in the bouncy house--all but me, since Joseph insisted someone go in with him and the pregnant thing doesn't work well with bouncing. We had a great time dancing, the best I've had in ages, and the fireworks were awesome.

That's about it. I know that each of these could have easily been separate posts but I like to do them with pictures and I keep forgetting the camera. Ah well.

Mothers' Day Memories

I've been dreaming of this day for four years. I waited through pregnancy, infancy, then into nursery. Now, finally, my day had come. Elena was old enough to sing with the primary kids on Mother's Day. I've been listening to her sing the songs Sister Rendon had picked out for two weeks--in the car, in the bathroom, eating cereal, helping Joseph--and she knows the words really well. We got everyone dressed and to church on time so that she wouldn't miss it. And then, when the primary children got called up to the front, she wouldn't go. No matter how I urged, begged or pleaded, she just wouldn't go. I was so upset I had to go to the little mother's room in the bathroom and I just cried for the rest of Sacrament Meeting. I know how unpredictable kids are, and I probably should have prepared myself earlier, but the thought that she didn't want to sing for me when I've been looking forward to it for so long broke my heart.

On the other hand, Elena's been in panties full-time for exactly one year, and the hinges on the bathroom stalls at church got switched this week? last week? so the doors swing out (and I can fit inside, now!!!). No matter how huge the little thing seem, sometimes it's important to step back and remember that they are little things. Mommy's new goal is to relax and let my kids be small children, not miniature adults, and allow them the appropriate amount of emotional maturity while I teach them about others' feelings.

Speculation Abounds

My mom called, yesterday, and said "I need a favor."

"What kind of favor?"

"I need you to come to Stake Conference with us, tomorrow."

The last time Mom called on a Saturday and asked us to come to church with them the next day, Dad got called as bishop. After dancing around the question with a "I can neither confirm nor deny" sort of answer, I kind of knew what was up. I asked someone to help in nursery, for me, but since there was an hour's difference in start times I went ahead and set up the toys before heading south to meet the rest of the family. And the answer is... 1st councilor in the Kyle Stake Presidency. Since the officers in neither of the stakes was know until yesterday, they didn't really know who to ask to give talks, so there were testimonies by each of the members of both the new presidencies and a talk by the 70 that came to do the calling. It was a good conference.

Best quote of the day: "Forming a new stake is a lot like trying change your spark plugs while driving at 70 mph."

President Ashford, Elder Neil L. Andersen of the Presidency of the Seventy, Stake President Allen, President Wharton, Elder James E. Martino

New Stake

...but we're not in it. My parents and my brother Brent are, though. Yup, my parents jumped from the stake north of us to the stake south of us. Ah the joys of ambiguous geography. Our ward does pick up a few families that are close enough to our building that no one wanted to make them drive all the way to Kyle (just as my parents lost a few, for similar reasons). Strangely enough, we could have sworn that that strip of land was already in our ward. Ah, well. Hopefully it'll make up for the dozen+ families that have/will move to Parkwood since last summer. Anyway, there's two wards from New Braunfels, plus Seguin, San Marcos (family & university), Plum Creek, Parkwood and Bastrop. We'll miss you, Brent and Regan. It was nice to have the option of sitting with family at Stake Conferences. Good luck with the new stake, and we hope the transition goes smoothly for everyone.

Picnic Party

The Elder's Quorum finally got around to having a social and getting my husband to tell me about it. Since it's been pretty quiet in the post-Easter lull, he even got to take off from work and join us. Yippee! I brought the camera, but it never left the diaper bag, so sorry for the lack of pictures.

We had hamburgers, hot dogs, chips, sliced fruit, and juice boxes. The invite said to bring a salad, so I made potato salad. Adults chatted while the kids played on the playground. The EQ presidency brought kites, as well, and while the kite-eating tree ate two of them, Jonathan kept his up and away from danger. I sunscreened everyone while it was still cloudy, so I didn't have to worry when the sun finally came out. All in all, 3 1/2 hours, lots of food, good company, worn out kiddos, no sunburns or abrasions (or fractures, despite Joseph's best attempts)--it was a great day.

Ups and Downs

I've been meaning to post some stuff, just fun things we've been doing in the last week or so, but by the time I find the free time I'm so moody (grouchy?) that I don't want to talk to people. So, anyway...

Joseph got to go shoe shopping. His boots were getting a bit small and I wanted to see how his feet were growing so we went to Payless, got his feet measured, and looked around at shoes. It' no wonder his shoes are a bit difficult to get on--they're a 4, and Joseph's feet are somewhere between a 4 1/2 and a 5. After trying on bigger shoes, he refused to put his old shoes back on. Payless didn't have any shoes that were quite cute enough even for the $12-15 price tag, so we headed on to Target. They had a bunch of shoes on sale for half off, including a great pair of two-strap velcro sneakers in tan suede with black canvas panels. They look great.

I knit my very first piece of clothing, a bolero style sweater for a friend's baby shower, and it inspired me to make a leap of faith in the knitting world--a sweater for me. I found a pattern I like that suggests recycling yarn from a thrift store sweater (I really wanted wool for a warm sweater, so the other option was to spend $40 for new yarn) so I made a trip to Goodwill. Two trips, actually. The first yielded a moss-green-with-a-turn-toward-yellow chunky yarn that was actually 80% silk (20% nylon), and the second found me a black-with-a-single-strand-of-silver worsted in 100% lambswool (minus the sliver thread, I'm assuming). Both are shapeless, XL turtlenecks. I hate turtlenecks, so I don't feel bad about taking them apart. The green has been unraveled already, but needs to be balled; the black is still in sweater form, until I can find a new pattern for it--I think I like the green better with the cables. Silk won't be as warm, but that's OK.

Elena spent all day, Saturday playing Primary in the living room. I'm not sure if she did any Sharing time lessons, but there were a lot of opening and closing prayers, with singing time in between.

I've visited half of the ladies on my Visiting Teaching route, and we're only half way through the month. I've seen Jeanie and her family at church the last 4 Sundays (her husband's not a member, and they usually only do Easter and Christmas) and Tiffany and I are working on getting rides to church for her kids once Jeanie's soccer league starts in February. We're trying really hard to get the other two before it gets to the last week of the month. I usually give the message, since I'm really lazy and Tiffany make the appointments, and I really like this month's. The first few times I read it, the last bit about motherhood seemed a bit jarring, since the lesson is a bout our purpose on Earth (fall, redemption, Plan of Salvation, all that), but the more I thought about it the more it made sense. As a mom, my job is to see that my kids grow up to be competent, responsible adults. My Heavenly Father's job is exactly the same. Motherhood (or, as Sister Beck put it, "a mothering heart") is about helping people grow and learn and become the best people they can be, and anyone can do it. Everyone should do it, in whatever capacity they can. Anyway, that's my deep thought of the week.

And, very best of all, I got to go shopping with my friend Jess, today. She just started nursing school (one class, but it's 40 hours) and has been so busy it's amazing I caught her at all. Joseph got a Carter's gift card for Christmas, there's a Carter's store up by her, and I hadn't seen her since September, when our buddy Jon got married. Perfect chance to get together for an hour or so. It was so fun!

Well, enjoy!

Primary Pizza Party

Church is bright and early tomorrow, at 9am, and the Primary presidency wanted to be sure all the kids knew their teachers so they threw a pizza party. Here is my proud new Sunbeam, on her way to her very first Primary activity!



Everyone brought a picture of themselves to put on a tag that they then decorated with stickers and markers. They'll be using these throughout the year as they learn about this year's theme, and learn the Articles of Faith. Elena and I have started singing the songs so that she can learn them, too.


This is her teacher, Sister Baird. There are five kids in her class: three came today, two were regulars in Nursery--you can see Mackay off to the side.


After visiting their room, getting to know each other a bit, and talking about what they'll do in Sunbeams each week, we got to eat some yummy Gatti's pizza.

New Fun

The combined RS/YW/Priesthood lesson on Sunday was to learn how, then do, some name indexing for Family Search. It was fun, people calling out "it's Lewis, not Harris" (and if you've seen the handwriting, you know what I'm talking about) and things like that. So I decided to start, too. It's an easy way to start or wind down the day, and the detective work involved is just challenging enough to make it interesting without making it too difficult. There's censuses in both English (US or Canada) and Spanish (Mexico), plus Revolutionary War records, in the general list, and you can sign up for special projects, too. The church just started on a German census and I know at least three of you have enough fluency to help. I'm thinking about doing it, myself, and I don't have nearly as much experience with German given names or handwriting. Anyway, it's fun, it's easy, and it's a great way to help others with their temple work.