Urg, But Not Eep

I've been mulling over modesty, lately.  Elena's reached That Age (already?!?) so she and I got to have a few... Conversations (I know!!!) this last week.  Along with a changing body comes a change in how people perceive you, though, and while she's never had any problem showing modesty in dress, she has a long way to go for behavior, especially when it comes to how she moves in skirts.  How do I really explain modesty without getting into the one Conversation I haven't had with her and she doesn't (well, shouldn't) need to have for another couple years?

Modesty has been a pretty hot topic on Facebook lately.  There have been lots of links to articles and blog posts.  There was one that noted that the word "modest"  is only used twice in the bible, both times in an "of modest means" sort of way, advising the saints to not flaunt whatever prosperity they may rise to.  It reminded me of The Book of Mormon's mentions of fine-twined linens in the pride cycles.


On the more usual interpretation, she knows--because we've said it many times--that we keep ourselves, especially the areas covered by our undies and said undies themselves, covered up because they're not other people's business.  I was looking for something more solid than that, good as it is.  I had an epiphany, a week ago, and was able to relate the topic to something analogous but not as fraught with subtext and blame-throwing.  It takes the form of a quick Socratic question session:

Is it impolite for your brother to read your personal thoughts that you put in your private journal?  Of course it is.  That being said, is it then impolite for you to hang poster-sized prints of the contents of that journal around the house?  Your answer to that will say much. 

Then I saw this.  It's a hypothetical conversation between a man and his son.  It made me want to formulate my own for my daughter.

~
Sweetheart, there are many kinds of men out there.  And they've all looked at you.  It's because you're becoming a woman.  It's in the nature of things.  ...

It's the way they look that matters, though.  There are some men that will look at you and only see a piece of meat.  You've done nothing to deserve that, and there's nothing you can do to prevent it.  Those men will always see every woman that way.  Ignore them, they're not worth your time.  Trying to beat them in that game is a losing proposition.  It's like wrestling a muddy pig--you get dirty and the pig has fun.

There are, however, good men who will look at you as a whole person, one with thoughts and dreams, skills and talents, and a sense of wonder and adventure that will leave him breathless.  They are the men who don't want to only see you for your legs or curves, as much as those things are attractive to them, who want to respect you and treat you right.  Those are the men that are worth encouraging, those are the ones you want to attract.  For their sakes, not the others', it is most polite and most fair to not make them work so hard at maintaining the self-discipline they've been working on.

Remember, your responsibility is to see yourself dressed before you leave your room, and not undo that work once you leave it.  The man's responsibility is to see you for who you are, not what your clothing may or may not hint at.  Both sides work together.  They share equal responsibility with equal reward. 

Revolution

Lucy figured out how to roll over, today.  She's now quite handy at flipping onto her tummy.  Not that she likes that, all that much.  The view from her tummy is not quite as interesting and much more exhausting.  After a minute or so she's angry with the world for putting her in such a position, as if she didn't do it to herself.  I have the feeling this will will be a recurring theme.

Inch by Inch

Lucy is 4 months old, today.  She went in for her check-up, this morning, and got weighed and measured.  She's 13 lbs 12 ozs and almost 25", putting her in the 50th percentile.  Apparently, she was in the 75th, last time, so she's been told to get going on that cereal to build herself back up.  Weird.  I mean, I knew she was adorably chubby, but 50th-75th percentile?  The other kids were all, consistently, 5th-10th percentile.  25th at the highest.  I don't know what genes she working with, but I guess they're working well for her.

I other Lucy news, while we were at the doctor, she made her first real attempt at rolling over.  She almost had it but an elbow was poking out.  She does scootch around in circles, though, changing which way she's facing. 

Toys are starting to be a viable distraction, too.  It never works for very long, but you can hand her a rattle toy and she'll chew on it for several minutes.  It's enough to give Mom hope for a future without a baby permanently adhered to my side.

I Swear! Other Stuff Happened, Too!

I've been a bit absent, the last couple months.  The late stages of pregnancy will do that.  Things happened, though, I promise.

I planted bulbs, and though only the paperwhites came up they were my favorites anyway.   One of then even bloomed!

We had the usual Easter party at my Mom's.  I missed having Dad there, especially with it being a new house and all.  So much change, but having family together will always be the same.

We colored and hunted our own eggs, at home.

The kids decided to film their own movie, a thrilling adaptation of Little Miss Muffet.  This would be one of the stills from the set.

The Aztex are back!  And we got tickets!  We've been to a couple games and it's always a good time.

We got a car, too.  It is a Mazda5, but not the one from the other post.  For $5k less we got 2 years newer, 50k less miles, leather seats and tinted windows.  Yeah.

A sunflower sprouted up in our back yard, fell over, then produced blossoms all up the length of the stem.  There's probably 100 or more flowers on it.

Joseph turned 6!  He asked for a square cake that was chocolate with chocolate and M&Ms.  He wore his Super Cape to the soccer game, too.

Yes, Lucy came two days later.  Several people asked me when I was due, at church.  I told them "Technically, a week and a half.  In all practicality, any day, now."  I was at that very moment having contractions that never actually went away.  Here she is at home, getting all settled in.

She makes the big kids (all 3 of them!) look enormous.

And finally, today, at about noon, Joseph lost his first tooth.  He's so excited!

Sunset

This evening was just about perfect. We made dinner, saw Daddy off to work, then the kids and I went for a walk. I pulled out the big stroller, for the boys, and Elena borrowed a scooter from the neighbor. We set out to find letters--on signs, cars, houses, anywhere we could find them. It's a favorite game when we're in the car, but it was nice to be able to slow down and give Joseph more time to spot things. Plus, the weather was perfect. Blue sky, no clouds, a light breeze, not too hot and not too cold. We managed to get up to Q before we lost a bit of drive. The rarer letters can be pretty tricky. The school was on the way home so we stopped in at the playground for some play time. The kids ran ahead, but I held back, wanting to take it all in. I wanted to savor what may be our last trip there together. I took a seat on a swing--I always seem to gravitate there--and James came over for a ride. I watched lacy branches arch over us, lightly flocked with delicate bunches of new leaves, as James and I floated back and forth, laughter and the children's voices washing over me. Elena joined us and I told her all about the summer we first moved here and I would sit on those very swings, waiting for her to join us in our family. Playtime beckoned, though. A game of hide and seek began and we all took turns counting to fifteen then looking for the others. Even James played. "Wun, dwo, fee, fou, fie, 'leven... come!" He chased Elena up the playscape and down the twirly slide. He caught her as she tried to climb back up. I hid behind trees because I'm too tall to properly hide in the tunnels, the way Elena and Joseph do, and too old to run pell mell across the tanbark. In one last game, we all ran up the steps and across the bridge to the tallest slide and went down, one after the other, over and over again, until we were breathless and giggling. As we made our way home I watched the sun slide below the horizon, marking the end of another day. Elena returned the scooter and thanked the neighbor. And then she threw a massive fit because she hadn't realized she was missing Wipeout. I sent her to bed. So close. Good enough, though.

Called Up From the Minors

It's a new year, a new school semester, and Joseph has started Pre-K. He's been getting ready for weeks, finding school supplies and a backpack, practicing his letters, and learning the rules he'll need to know. Yesterday was his first day, and he was so excited to meet his teacher and get started.

(He wants you to see the monkeys on his backpack.)


I dropped off Elena first, then went back to get Joseph, since our appointment with his teacher was after the first bell had rung. Jonathan made sure he got a good breakfast and his coat on, so he was ready to go with plenty of time.


He got to explore the classroom while Ms. S. and I went over a few things. He found the play food and put things on the balance scale to see what was heavier. He didn't get to see Pablo, the class guinea pig, until later because Pablo was sleeping when we got there. His teacher took a picture of him to put on the letter board.


Here he is, ready to start his day!


After school, I picked him up and Ms. S. said he settled right in, followed all the rules, worked well with the other kids, and had a good day.

Elena's day? Not so good. She refused to do any of her work and thus lost the After-School Party on Friday that she'd earned by turning in her Christmas Break homework on time and got sent to the principal's office. Her report card was not too snappy, either. We've had serious discussions about getting our work done and doing what the teacher asks us, when the teacher asks us. She will not be starting the next Harry Potter, as we had planned, until she can show us she's doing a better job. And you know what my immediate thought was when her teacher told me what had happened? "Oh sweet gravy, I've spawned myself." Mom? How did you not kill me? 'Cause seriously, I want to know.

Freed

James has added to his repertoire climbing from the crib. He's been able to hook his leg over the rail for a couple weeks, but hadn't tried anything with it until today. It must be time to take off the side. It's about time, I guess. Both Elena and Joseph made the transition at least 6 months younger. I have a hard time remembering that he's as old as he is. Elena was making pancakes at this age. Joseph was telling stories. Maybe it's because James doesn't speak English. Now, if only I spoke Mandarin. Or maybe Russian. Or whatever it is he's been speaking for a year and a half.

Budding Out

With Elena back in school, it's just me and the boys, most days. We go to the park and the library. We run errands and shop for groceries. We listen to The Biscuit Brothers and occasionally watch Dinosaur Train. Life is a lot calmer and more predictable, even if it's not the same things every day. With that, James is really starting to show personality, all of a sudden. I know, I know. "He's almost two!" you say. "Hasn't he been showing personality before now?" Well, yes and no. He has, but Elena (and to some extent, Joseph, since she's gets him worked up) has such a loud presence that James tends to become background noise when she's around. In just the last week (meaning since Elena started school) I've noticed James has started repeating people, using intelligible syllables; patting his knees (alternating back and forth!) while listening to The Biscuit Brothers; laughing with Joseph about some game they've made up; dancing along to a song or laughing at a character when we have a kids show or movie on; stealing Mima's wii remotes and swinging them wildly while yelling "Fwee!" and jumping up and down; playing with the cat; and quietly asking for water by grabbing a random cup and putting it in my hand, instead of just screaming indiscriminately. It's almost like he's a whole different person and my wallflower is suddenly the life of the party. This is going to take some getting used to, but I like everything about it.

Up to Something

We have major trouble brewing, at our house. James, it seems, has all his sister's intelligence and problem-solving skills combined with his brother's athleticism and adventurous nature. He's the first of our children to figure out how to get out of the crib all by himself. He also circles the table, studying the chairs to decide which one will give him the best path upward. He figured out three different ways of getting up onto the computer desk so he could dance with the computer monitor at least four months ago. Figuring out the locks on the front door by the time he's in nursery is not entirely out of the question.

Haircut

I love my baby boy's curls. They are such a delight. They do tend to get scraggly, though, and poof (yet hang down) in odd ways. Being a Big Kid of 13 full months, it was time for his Very First Haircut. I plunked him down on the bathroom counter, so he could watch, then quickly grabbed the back of his hair and gave a few swift snips. It's not my best job, but it will do. I'm not even going to attempt the top, yet.

Before:
After:

Weigh to Go, James!

My last WIC appointment happened to be on the same day as a deluge of epic proportions. I spent an hour on the road, and didn't get much more than 5 miles from my house. The light in front of me was letting through about one car per cycle and the freeway was at a total standstill. I missed that appointment, but got rescheduled for today. It was still raining, but not nearly so hard.

James got weighed and measured as part of his recertification, and came in at 20 lbs 6.2 ozs and 29 ins tall. That's two full pounds heavier, in just one month, and makes him the biggest (fastest growing?) of the kids. He's also officially eligable to ride forward like a big kid. Not that we have room for that, in our car. We're going to have to figure out what to do if he gets those last two pounds to max out his baby seat at his next pedi check-up.

Movin' Right Along

Will did it at the beginning of the summer. Tess did it, a month ago. Danielle did it, two weeks later. Joseph has joined their ranks, now. We have one less kid in diapers! I can't say "no more diapers!" because James still wears them, but I can't say "he's in underpants!" quite yet, either. We'll get to that.

I'm not sure who decided what, or why, but it started a week ago, Friday. Our standard deal with Elena is that she can not have any accidents in the week leading up to the Daddy/Daughter Campout, because the campground restrooms take time to get to, and she has to practice planning ahead. At the last minute, I ran out to the store so that the campers would have cash on hand to pay for the campsite, and Elena begged to go with me. That poor grocery cart did not deserve what happened to it, and the deal was broken. Somehow, during the cleanup and bath at home, Joseph ended up in underpants. He did not seem in any way adverse to this development--perhaps because of promises to go camping for his birthday, in the spring--so he stayed there. I set the kitchen timer for two hours, and every two hours I 'd get him to hop up and run to the bathroom to do his thing. After a couple of hours, he knew that the beeper meant potty time, and that he could go on his own, too. He even happily repeated the performance for three days. One small hitch, though--dry pants percentage was ~90%, clean pants were only about 2%. And then, at some point, Joseph forgot to put his underpants back on, after visiting the potty, and was totally accident-free for the rest of the day. He knew he needed to go, ran to the bathroom, did his thing, and that was that.

So... we have a half-naked child running around our house, these days, though he does put the rest of his clothes on if we need to go out. He managed to stay presentable at church, today. The process was much more laid back than earlier attempts with him, too. Don't worry, Regan, the diapers Tess passed on to us will still get used, it'll just take a little time for James to grow into them.

It Seems Too Soon

There has been a lot of twittering, lately, of a back-to-school nature, over here. If anyone is feeling a bit lost, as though you missed something important, we were feeling the same way, just five days ago.

Friday morning, I went to the grocery store to pick up a few things, and while I was there I couldn't help but see all the school supplies. On a whim, I decided to pick up a supply list for our elementary school, just to see what they were asking from the Pre-K kids. We had been debating for some time whether we wanted to send Elena to school this year with the Pre-Ks, possibly start Kindergarten early, or just wait until the rest of the kids started Kinder, next year. As I walked around HEB, supply list in hand, solutions to every possible hangup we had kept popping into my head. "It'll be really good for you to be back on a school schedule," I told myself. "Remember how nice it was to have the days and years divided up in such a predictable way? And it's really not that hard to pack a lunch for her. It doesn't have to be fancy, just healthy." On and on, the thoughts raced around my head. The school is on the way home, and as I drove past, I noticed that there were a lot of people out front. I caught a glimpse of the announcements sign, and it said "Meet the teacher 8/21 11:00-12:00." It was 10:45, and they were about to start. I hurried home, put the groceries away, gathered the family, and we went to go talk to someone about what the Pre-K program is like. An hour later I was feeling so overwhealmed. All the things I remember from Kindergarten--bristle blocks, cut & paste, painting, crayon rubbings--are now in Pre-K. Kindergarten starts 1st Grade stuff in December, with four hours of language comprehension every morning. There isn't much art, and they want your child to have basic reading skills. We picked up an application for Pre-K on our way out, but were still trying to figure out what we were going to do. Oh, and class started in just three days.

After a lot of discussion and prayer, we decided to go ahead and turn in the application first thing Monday morning. After all, we had been thinking about getting her into Kindergarten early, and Pre-K is the new Kinder, so it works out to about the same. Saturday, we got our supplies. We talked to Elena about school rules, and what to expect. My Visiting Teaching companion teaches Pre-K at another school and filled me in on everything I wish I'd known three months ago but didn't know how to find. The Lord works in mysterious ways, and this was certainly weird enough...

So, today is her very first day of school. The Pre-K kids do a staggered start (a third of the kids go for a half day for each of the first three days, then all of them do a half day Thursday, a full day Friday, and take a break for the weekend before going full time for the rest of forever), and they put her in the third group so that she'd have time for us to get her ready. She looked so much older in her new clothes (7, at least), and yet so young with her bright shining eyes and Hello Kitty backpack. When it was time to go, she hopped up and shouted "I get to go learn!" Daddy held her hand as we walked the three blocks to school. We took her to the gym, got a picture of her with her teacher. And then she was gone. The final moment between her time with us and her time off in the world was so brief (and a bit anti-climactic) that I can hardly believe it.



Now it's just me and the boys. It's strangely quiet in the house. I'd always known Elena was the instigator, but it's still weird to see it played out in front of me like this. I live in a whole new world of schedules and responsibilities. I can't wait for her to get home so I can dive into her folder and figure out what the heck is going on.

Bites

We've been waging a fierce war against clutter, here, and should be calling a cautious truce this week. Life has still continued onward, though.

James has decided to produce his first three top teeth all in one week. The third hasn't quite broken through, though, choosing to hover at the brink instead. We can see it, and he still gets a little crabby, but it's nowhere near the horrors of teething + allergies +nap strike that last week was. He's also learned some signs (please, up, milk and more), and it's so much easier to figure out what he wants. He's only a few weeks shy of his first birthday, and getting pretty big. He's gown faster than Joseph did, and there are several of Joseph's old clothes that James hasn't gotten to wear because he just didn't have time. James is already wearing some 12 month clothes (yeah, I know, shocking, but Joseph wore 3-6 mo pants until he was 1 1/2 so it's all very strange to me) and has just about outgrown his church shoes. We've noticed that he looks a lot like Elena, though noticeably lighter. I'm in love with his chubby knees and curly hair, too.

Joseph barrels along like a shockingly nimble bull in a blessedly resillient china shop. He's added a few more scrapes to go along with where his stitches were, but loves life and all the adventures it brings. He's learning more songs, at nursery and at home, and is getting better at singing along. Somehow, he manages to produce a quite tuneful song every time he picks up the harmonica Daddy lets the kids use.

Elena loves to read anything she can get her hands on, from books to music lyrics (she wants to sing along with us). She's even written some stories and "songs," herself, and hangs them on the wall. She finished reading her Book of Mormon Stories all the way through, about two weeks ago, and eagerly started over, though this time she's reading Doctrine & Covenants Stories at the same time. I'm impressed with how well (and how quickly!) she's progressed from last December when she read one verse at a time and needed lots of help, to now when she reads several pages all by herself. Part of me wishes she could start Kindergarten, this year, so she has that constant challenge, but the other part doesn't want to pack lunches and get up at 6am.

I've been knitting, of course--mostly baby gifts for the dozen pregnant women I know. I made a lace shawl, too, but ran out of yarn 5 rows from the end. Not sure what to do about that one. I'm currently on a banana bread kick, too. Jonathan works, and is the main motivator in the aforementioned war.

We got to see The Music Man, at Zilker. It was a hoot to see Joseph dancing to Marian the Librarian. We also got to see Michael and Kelsey's play that they put on with a bunch of their friends. Elena said it was a "silly play" and that it was "good."

So, that's pretty much us.

Such a Sweet Girl

Elena is fabulously awesome. Her reading is coming along really well. She's starting to read parts of bigger stories like Alice in Wonderland and Stuart Little, all by herself. She wants to read Harry Potter, too, but keeps trying to start with the second one. We've told her that as soon as Mom and Dad finish that one we'll start reading it with her.

The other shirt I made.

While cleaning out my closet, the other day, I found a box with a bunch of jewelry I'd worn in middle school. Elena immediately asked if she could have it, and I didn't see why not.


She's been asking me for a haircut for a while, I guess because Joseph got a trim the other day before pictures. I got Daddy to agree to a trim for her, too. No pictures yet, since I did it right when she got out of the bath, this morning.

Getting so Big

James grows and grows. He crawls everywhere he can get to, investigating everything around him. He's tried to stand by himself, once or twice, and is starting to cruise around the couch and his crib.


Part of getting bigger is eating Big Kid Food. His favorite, of course, is bananas (his first word was "na-NAAAA?!?"), but he also likes avocado, cheese, crackers and Cheerios.

Bonus footage of his Happy Kicky Dance!

An Art Feature

...starring a budding young artist named Elena.

"Rod of I-ron"

"Bountiful"

(she added a ship to the Many Waters about an hour after I scanned it in)

Sharp Little Chompers

Baby Boy got himself some teeth, last week, so we needed pictures before the gummy smile vanished. None of my favorites featured said gummy smile, though. Go figure.



He's a total pro at this modeling thing. After a few minor fits because the set was not to his liking, he worked beautifully with his photographer, getting tons of cute shots. Another fun fact--James started sitting unassisted during the photo shoot.

Movin' on Up

Joseph has made the move to underpants! There's still ~1 accident a day, but that's about it. We still have backup diapers for long outings, since he's never used a real toilet, only the training potty, but that's OK. He's totally dry at night, though, and wakes up and uses the potty first thing, all by himself.

A Pair of Pants

James must be teething. He's gnawing on anything that even gets near his mouth, drooling more than usual, and crabby as anything. He is, officially, a Crankypants.

Joseph, on the other hand, has been feeling the loneliness of having Mom busy with other people, lately. It was his turn to get some good one-on-one time with me, so on Monday we went on a Super Special Shopping Trip to pick out underpants. He looked at everything Target had to offer and chose Lightning McQueen ("Tar!"), Thomas the tank engine (because it's a train), and "Big-gid Unnerpants Lite Daw-ee" (boxer breifs). Diego and glow-in-the-dark Spiderman didn't quite make the cut.